Naughty Monkey

verse 1
If your monkey's acting badly, I'll tell you what I'm thinkin'
What your monkey needs is a damn good spankin'
Just pull his little trousers down and toss him cross your knee
And spank that monkey's bum most satisfactorily

chorus 1
'Cause he's a naughty monkey he's a naughty monkey
The most recalcitrant by far
And all his mugshots are up in the police stations
From Alberta to the shores of Zanzibar

bridge 1
He gives old Uncle Bert a shiner
He starts food fights while in your favorite diner
He will steal a plane and fly to Asia Minor
'Cause he's such a naughty monkey

verse 2
If your monkey comes to dinner, he'll break your favorite pie plate
Monkey keeps library books, well beyond their due date
Each time that monkey goes to town, he's hauled home by the cops
If monk makes you a drink you can expect knockout drops

chorus 2
'Cause he's a naughty monkey, he's a naughty monkey
He's such a saucy simian
And all his antics are known in the best of circles
From the Zulu to the Argentinians

bridge 2
He'll peek down cousin Cora's sweater
His bathroom habits aren't getting better
If he runs away he won't leave you a letter
'Cause he's such a naughty monkey

(repeat verse 1, spoken)

chorus 3
'Cause he's a naughty monkey he's a naughty monkey
He just keeps getting more risque
And all his crimes have been shown on the top ten wanted
From Alhambra to farthest Zimbabwe